It wasn't so bad in the beginning of turning twenty. You know me, I love to exaggerate on a few points to make a dramatic and outstanding appeal for my writings. But I cannot lie; after last night, shit just hit the fan. Have you read or heard of the saying in the bible that reads/says, "Your sins will find you out?" I live by that saying, now. Last night, my Step-Father, who I love so much, informed me that he found an opened condom rapper in my bathroom toilet. Somehow, it had "swam" up with the flow of the water as he flushed the toilet. Now; I could've done two things. A) Lie. and B) Lie some more. I would have, had I still been 19 years old. See, there's a difference. There comes a time when your old man knows that you are becoming and old man. The look on is face; the flare and fear in his eyes; the shake of his hands; all of which brought me to tears shortly after he spoke to me. Him, being all I've got and having helped raised me since I was 8 years old; I never ever want to disappoint him nor see him hurt because of my actions, and clearly, I did both. Ladies and gents, a case of killing two birds with one stone...
"So, what'd you learn, Evan?" I learned not to use a condom? Just kidding. What I really learned is not to flush my condom rapper down the toilet? Okay, seriously, I learned that I'm going to have to make some changes in my life. There is nothing impossible in this world through the work of the Most High. I do believe the reason I feel so much pressure being 20 is because I'm beginning to think that as I grow older, I can make it on my own, without walking by faith. False. I'm going to need him more. As written before, all things are possible through Christ. So, I'm going to work on my maturity and ability to say no to hormones and live high and righteously. I've got to, no matter what my girlfriend thinks. As far as I know, she should probably work on her sexual self-control too (Tisk Tisk. She's more of an animal than I am ;)). Togetherness; that's right. We'll do it together... Practice self-control, that is.
I apologize for the "Too Much Information" factor, but I'm very open to sharing my life with you, the reader. To my Step-Father; I love you, and again, I apologize God Bless you and thank you for always putting up with my craziness. I'm your son. Can you tell? 20 never felt so... Big. 20 never felt so... Bad. This is life and it's never too late to start over and make changes. Why not have fun on the journey and change for the better, best, and most positive? Indeed, I shall.
Evan
